These ten songs are like inviting your boss to your house for an intimate Valentine’s Day Dinner for three: they’re not known for their aphrodisiac qualities.

#10. Air Supply – “Making Love Out of Nothing at All”

Play this song on V-Day and you’ll be making a bed out of two kitchen chairs and a folded up parka.

#9. America – “Muskrat Love”

I’m an America fan and even I know better. “Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam.” Thirty years hence and I still don’t get it.

#8. Andy Willliams – “The Theme From Romeo and Juliet (Where Do I Begin)”

OK to play if your Valentine is your Mom.

#7. Anne Murray – “I Just Fall in Love Again”

However, it will not be with you.

#6. Bonnie Tyler – “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

As you can see, this song does not include “love” in the title. Don’t let that give you a false sense of security: it will dampen the mood like a snowball in your drawers.